Missing piece

This week, in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I will be highlighting various types of infertility, conditions that may cause infertility, and types of loss. I hope you’ll follow along for education and connection. Let’s all do our best to end the shame and the stigma surrounding infertility; I’m pledging to do my best in my daily life to #FliptheScript. 

On the surface, they might appear happy. A married couple with a loving family: 1.5 kids, a dog, a house. But what if they have a secret struggle? A struggle that isn’t “socially acceptable” to talk about?

Secondary infertility, or infertility experienced after having at least one successful live birth, is often treated as the “black sheep” of the infertility world. If you are struggling with secondary infertility, you might be experiencing feelings of shame or guilt. How dare you feel sad for wanting a child when you already have a “family”? Can’t you just be happy with the child or children you already have?

Secondary infertility isn’t about not appreciating the beauty in your children, but knowing the beauty of creating a life and not being able to fulfill that dream yet again. It’s like putting together the most beautiful puzzle, only to find that you’re missing the last, most important piece.

If you know someone struggling with secondary infertility, the best way you can support them is to acknowledge and validate their feelings of grief and loss. It is never easy to walk the road of infertility, even if you’ve already been granted the privilege of becomings a parent.


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